Bridges: Ben Keeney

Bridges are an unsafe thing. Every time that I walk or drive over them I am afraid. Afraid that it will collapse. It may be helpful to point out that I am scared of heights. Yep I have been and, apparently, always will be scared of being above things where if I fell from them, there would be pain and or death. I want to talk more about how I think that I am more afraid of the anticipation, more scared of the falling and not the collision. But I'm to talk about bridges and not the ins and outs of being afraid of heights. Now then, though it would be good to know that I think bridges a dangerous thing because I don't like being on them because I am scared of heights, but I am also uneasy when sitting under a bridge. I always imagine bridges collapsing in a fantastic Michael Bay type spectacle of destruction and and unnecessary explosions. I am always ready and have a plan of what to do in case the bridge falls, in the same way that everybody claims to have detailed plans of how to survive when the zombies finally come. I can admit, unlike my zombie apocalypse surviving friends, that my plan would most definitely not work. Regardless of my irrational fears of bridges, there is a single principle I want to think about. ** All bridges are not meant to be homes**

To transition to being abstract for a bit, I think that just as physical bridges that hold people and cars are dangerous and bound to collapse, I believe that this life is a bridge. I realize that's not profound or unique. Many people think that. For the Christian this life is a bridge. It is not safe to dwell on. It is not practical to dream about its destruction (or right several books about it). Every time I cross a bridge I feel a little bit of relief in the stability of the ground, the stability of home. I think that this life is dangerous so that the Christian can feel the gratitude and relief of coming home, that I wouldn't have if I had never left home.

Everything: Ben Keeney

What can be measured but not understood?
This was almost what my friend, affectionately named British Mark, would call a 'cheeky' response.
But I almost was going to write about how everything in the world that has ever existed is not fully understood. I will explain a little bit about what I mean so that I don't sound like some kind of an agnostic towards everything. It's really not a complicated thought. Basically everything, as far as I know, is made up of atoms. Atoms are made up of particles that have opposite charges and shouldn't be in the same proximity, but they are still held together for some reason. That reason as far as I know scientists haven't been able to understand yet. Therefore we don't fully understand anything.
That is probably just lazy thought, so here is what is mind blowing to me, thoughts. Is it in the realm of the soul (which is a whole other topic)? We can track thoughts, we understand a little bit, like they are synapse firing and seem to be biological and electrical, and we can highlight part of the brain that is active. However to my simple mind that doesn't understand how all of that becomes a silent voice.
People advised me a lot that I need to, "get out of my head."   I understand what they are saying, that I will get lost in endless debate and scheming before I act. I agree with people, I should get out of my head. I am trying, but I don't understand how. I don't think it would too simplistic to say that my thoughts rule me. Perhaps I will never understand how to act without the inner dialogue. Perhaps its more of an acting in faith in spite of being in my head. I definitely need to figure out what is ruling my thoughts, and hopefully I will understand that more, but honestly I don't think I will.

Hymn: Remixed - Come Ye Sinners: Ben Keeney

Come ye thirsty, come and welcome
God's free bounty, glorify
True belief and true repentance,
Every grace that brings you nigh!

Hear His herald, Hear Him calling,
Let the gospel take its root,
Fix your eyes on, Set your heart in,
The King of Spirit, Lord of Truth!

Be there troubled dark surrounding,
Overcasted with bitter loss,
Taste His grace and know His comfort,
Full displayed on His bloody cross!

Behold the Man, behold Him bending,
Sinful thorns pierce his lowered brow,
Bring His Love in sovereign favor,
Oh the riches of that wrathful crown!

Of the seas with all their water,
Of the skies with their stars,
Could they cover, or account for,
The endless mercies of His scars?

Food Trucks: Ben Keeney

I am would in no way consider myself a "foodie". Case in point, I had to look up how to actually spell foodie. It's not something that I am proud of or look to others who are super interested and maybe even picky as being pretentious. I really do respect foodies. I am interested in how much flavor they can decipher with their smell and taste buds. The more that I think about it I would say that I am also a little bit jealous and wish I could only like things that other foodies liked and not be totally content with Taco Bell or Lotaburger (Jess knows).
In recent months I was obsessed with Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmare on Netflix. I was super intrigued how Gordon could detect immediately the quality of how they cooked it, if the food had been frozen or wasn't local and fresh. I loved how he explained to the watching audience, in so many colorful words and British expressions, what was wrong. You see I am very analytically inclined by nature and foodies when they just say, "this sucks" without any explanation as to why leaves me thinking, "Now what the hell am I supposed to do with that?" (Amy and Jess know) But Ramsey explains it and I tend to agree with him about how restaurants are supposed to look, sound and taste.
You might be asking what this has to do with food trucks. You might not be asking that at all, either way it really doesn't matter because I'm going to talk about it now. Food trucks make everyone a foodie. First of all it's cool. It's like a secret restaurant that magically appears in around you. That's one thing that makes it cool, but also it seems like it just doesn't take a lot to start one, which may or may not be true. But because it seems that way, I feel more comfortable to be critical and gracious. Another really cool thing is that they are obviously local. Lastly, and probably the best thing about Food Trucks is that they are simple. There aren't a lot of choices. All the options are (or should be) the best they can offer.
Here in Albuquerque, the food trucks are like doughnut shops in the NW. If they aren't amazing they just aren't going to last very long. There are 2 that I really like. The Supper Truck is the best one. Here they serve Shrimp and Grits...amazing and BBQ pork soft tacos with southern style coleslaw. They are so good. I will say that one time they served waffle chicken tacos, that was super gross. Mostly because the waffles were mini Eggo. I don't know if they ran out that night or something, but it really sucked. I was truly sad because Chicken and Waffles are evidence of God common grace on all his creation that truly loves everyone. Regardless of that sin, Supper Truck is amazing. The other I think is called Europa, he parks in my church parking lot around lunch time on Sunday. "He" is a french dude name Joffrey. Joffrey makes really long hot dogs with melted cheese on top and with a certain amazing spicy mustard.
I do like food trucks. They are usually good quality because of the low overhead, the down-to-earthness that cultivates loyalty and the uniqueness that is plain fun.

Gas Works Park: Ben Keeney

Gas Works Park

I am pretty sure that this counts. So here it is, my favorite place on earth, or at least of all the earth that I have been to, which admittedly isn't much, but that is neither here nor there (hahahaha).

I don't know what it is that I like about Gas Works above all other places. There is obviously an amazing skyline view of Seattle. There is nice grass which to a New Mexican is a luxury. There is a cool solstice thing at the top of the hill. I think I like it so much because it goes right to the water, and at night, for some reason nobody is there. It is peaceful. The sometimes overwhelming activity of a city is dulled and water and the air are allowed to speak. It's amazing to look around and see all of Seattle, or all that matters of Seattle anyway. See so many houses and landmarks and imagining so many people's lives and what they are doing where they are going and what they are about. 

Gas Works is amazing! It is a calm in the middle of a crazy city. I honestly don't understand how there aren't hundreds of people all the time. 

Edmonds Beach on a Rainy Day: Ben Keeney

Simple, yet cannot be fully known

Identified but cannot be conformed

Untold potential beset with borders

Dangerous, but diligently studied

Constant faithfulness in unceasing change

Formless beauty in timeless frame

No words yet there is truth

No tongues but I hear its voice,

No will, but I am compelled,

No spirit, but I am moved,

No arms yet it I am pulled,

No eyes yet I am perceived,

No feet yet it stands in defiance

No thoughts yet I am found foolish

Chaos yet diligently purposeful,

Free but always giving,

Eclipsed with shadows, yet filled with light

Nostalgia: Ben Keeney

I am someone who just gets lost or stuck in my head. One of the horrible consequences for me is that I long for he past. I tend to see the past through rose colored lenses....except for bible college. 

Like all things for me there are ways to remember good memories in a way that is helpful or harmful. I believe, and I think most reasonable people will agree, that any nostalgia that leads to discontentment in the present and makes me long for and value more the people from my past than the people around me now, that that breed is nostalgia is harmful and not helpful. 

I tend to always go there. 

But it can't be bad to often think about the past with fondness. We seemed to be designed to have chemical reactions to taste and smell that bring back specific memories. For some reason old people just have a smell, not anything I can ever pinpoint, but a certain smell that brings me back to the gang other and grandfather Naylor. Eating eggos and/or golden grahms and watching tv on a giant zenith television. I do not believe this is a symptom of our current state. 

I have been thinking all week, more like reminded, that we seemed to be drawn into something bigger than ourselves. We need something to belong to and we need something to join in. Christians call it worship and church, most the world would call it purpose or even calling and community. It doesn't matter what we call it and I promise I'll bring this full circle soon. He point is we are made for two basic things that don't normally happen. Could it be that nostalgia is as much biological as it is metaphysical? That our bodies are longing for these moments that seems to bring us joy? 

I need to see use my nostalgic moments as motivation to look for opportunities to create moments now that will be sweet memories later with those around me. In short I think nostalgia is supped to exist to help us to love other and live bigger.

Summer Camp: Ben Keeney

Well guess what I just finished a summer camp. So here’s the deal, I am a pretty not good person. Okay I guess I’m just probably a bad person. Saying “not good” to me sounds like a level better than saying “bad”.

In my defense I am used to working with High School student in youth group. This was not a High School camp…this was a Jr. High Camp. The first thing that I learned about Middle Schools boys is the vast difference between them and High School. Honestly it blows my mind to think about these little pre-teen boys are going to annoy the daylights out of themselves in only a couple of years! Jenn, I am pretty sure your boys are not in middle school yet, but when they reach that horrific age, I’m sorry.

Here is the first lesson I learned. The first night we are all sleeping together in one giant room on the floor in a church. Okay so I knew it would be difficult to get them to go to sleep. And it was! To the point where I pulled off an imitation of Gandalf when Bilbo is being a punk about the ring and then the room goes dark, the once happy and even playful Gandalf now towers over the tiny person in terrible authority, even the room bends around him. After several minutes of “Quiet guys” I finally erupted in the deepest my voice can naturally go “ENOUGH! You are being disrespectful! YOU WILL STOP LAUGHING! YOU WILL STOP TALKING!” The dead silence that came after was admittedly really gratifying. But of course me Gandalfing the room wasn’t enough and about 5 minutes later I had to complete move everyone and strategically place each kid to optimize their forced obedience. Now this would probably have happened in some degree with older dudes, but here’s the real tragedy, having them finally gotten to bed around 1 am, I hear them around 5:30 am scurrying around! All I could think was “my lord! I have to get up, I can’t let them roam around.”

Fast forward to the end of camp with the last night spent back on the floor of the church. It was a little easier granted, I was a veteran of knowing where to place each Christian delinquent. And in the Morning I kept saying “Quiet guys, some of the other dudes are still sleeping’. And inevitably little fart noises little whispers little giggling gets louder and louder. After saying “Guys, come on” about 10 times, I hit the dry wall (not very hard, but hard enough to make it sound really hard) and then said “Are you freaking serious?!? Why is this so hard? Oh no, nothing? NOW you’re quiet!? NOW you can’t answer? NOW you can’t talk?” The progression for my conflict resolution strategy went from Gandalf to Orc. For the record that worked like a charm and they all went back to sleep! Like back to sleep in the morning! Huge win!

There were many laughs between me and Levi, the other leader. We loved to make fun of them in secret and be super sarcastic most of the time. I know that sarcasm probably isn’t befitting a really young adult, or a really old child, but when you are constantly subjected to the extreme ignorant confidence of a Middle School boy it is impossible for me not josh around with them some. We looked around at like the other groups of dudes at the camp asking each other, “Do you think anyone else is saying ‘no’ to their kids as much as we do?” –Probably not-. We also think are convinced that our kids where the most difficult.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are some serious gems. God did great things in their hearts and eventually it will bear tons of fruit for Jesus’ mission. There are some kids, honestly, they are real jerks.

Ungrateful. Hypocritical. Pharisaical. Ignorant. Opinionated. Me.

Toilet paper.

I stalled on this because I thought that what I had to say would be way more interesting than what it is. But let's do this..

1. When I see someone at the grocery store or super market or whatever and they are only buying toilet paper I think, "that person has a dirty butt" because why would that be the only thing you get on that trip unless you expectantly ran out? 

2. Super expensive toilet paper is a rip off in every sense of the phrase. First of all because you literally rip off toilet paper to use it...though that should be true of all toilet paper products. Second of all, I have found, that it doesn't work as well, and everybody knows what I mean "work". Third of all, because it is thicker it is used so much faster. 

And can we talk about the commercials? Well I can. It doesn't make any sense, it's either a giant jug of blue liquid to show how awesome it is, or its cartoon bears or a like a baby's face. I get it okay. You're sitting in the marketing department of Charmin or wherever, and you're thinking, "How do I get people to think about buying our toilet paper without thinking about a toilet, poop and all the gross stuff associated with it?" But here's the deal. It is toilet paper. It is the thing that we need. Everybody needs. Everybody uses. It is the thing that separates the third world and the first world countries. but it's one job is to wipe poop. Nothing about that sounds comfortable or fun or cute. So everyone in the Marketing department of to