Come ye thirsty, come and welcome
God's free bounty, glorify
True belief and true repentance,
Every grace that brings you nigh!
Hear His herald, Hear Him calling,
Let the gospel take its root,
Fix your eyes on, Set your heart in,
The King of Spirit, Lord of Truth!
Be there troubled dark surrounding,
Overcasted with bitter loss,
Taste His grace and know His comfort,
Full displayed on His bloody cross!
Behold the Man, behold Him bending,
Sinful thorns pierce his lowered brow,
Bring His Love in sovereign favor,
Oh the riches of that wrathful crown!
Of the seas with all their water,
Of the skies with their stars,
Could they cover, or account for,
The endless mercies of His scars?
Ben, this is really well done. I 'm impressed by the imagery and the rhyme. I'll suggest a few edits to preserve your rhythm though.
ReplyDelete1: "Overcasted" introduces a surplus syllable to its line and could easily be replaced with "overcast,"
2: Similarly, "Full displayed on his bloody cross!" is one syllable too long and could be corrected by removing "his."
3: The stanza that begins, "Behold the man, behold him bending" is irregular to your syllable pattern. Your syllable counts are currently (9, 8, 8, 9). Of course you could keep it as it is, but you might try rewording it to match the rest (8, 7, 8, 7).
4: The line "Of the skies with their stars" is only 6 syllables long. Consider adding a monosyllabic adjective (like "bright") to modify stars and restore the 7 syllable pattern.
I hope this helps.