Love can build a bridge: Jen Hirschman

I knew he was right. I needed to forgive her. I wanted to forgive her, but I didn't know how. How does one forgive their offender when they've never really said they're sorry?

"She doesn't deserve it, after what she did. I'll think about forgiving her, once I hear a sincere apology. True repentance." I don't remember how many times I told my husband this.

"It doesn't matter what she's done, she's still your mom. Nothing will change that. You don't want to go through the rest of life hating her. Not only will it hurt her, but it will destroy you."

"But she's not even sorry. She's never apologized." She doesn't deserve it, I thought.

"And what if she never does?" he asked. The question lingered for minutes, days, months. "You can be the one to take that first step, scary as it may be. Reach out in love. If you do, God will give you the strength to take the next steps."

I knew he was right. I needed to forgive her.

Love can build a bridge, between your heart and mine
Love can build a bridge, don't you think it's time, don't you think it's time

Wynnona and Naomi Judd recorded this song. I always thought the lyrics were a little bit cheesy, but the chorus kept playing in my mind. Don't you think it's time, don't you think it's time. How long would I wait? I was going on three years of this anger toward the woman who at one time would have given up anything for me.

It wasn't one giant step, but many small ones. A phone call. Introducing my new baby boy to her. A card thanking her for the many ways she loved me while growing up. Each one, another plank added to cross the chasm that had formed between us. Eventually, the bridge was built, not only from my side, but hers as well, and somewhere along that bridge, we met.