Beauty: Jen Hirschman

"Never date a guy that's prettier than you."

These were the words of wisdom my grandma gave to me as I poured out my complicated story about the good-looking guy who broke my heart not once, but twice. I laughed when she said it, not completely understanding what she meant. She continued...

"You will meet men who are very handsome and they know it. They are more concerned with appearances than the heart. If looking good is the most important thing to him, what happens when you don't look good? What happens when you've given birth and your body is left with the marks to show it? Or, God forbid, you have an accident or get cancer? Or how about just plain getting old? You want a man who will look at you every day and see your beauty. He will see it through your stretch marks, through the lines on your face, He will see beauty in the things you do and the way you love people. That's the man you want to love you."

I listened to her speak, knowing she was wise, but I didn't truly grasp the depth of her words until I gave birth to my first son. My husband saw me in my awful state and told me I was beautiful. I understood it when I heard the word cancer from the doctor and I saw the worried look on my husband's face. I understood it when I struggled to put on support hose, while hugely pregnant  because after kid #3 my varicose veins were bad enough to keep me from walking. He asked how he could help me and even said I looked beautiful when I had never felt more unattractive in my life.

I never forgot that statement. I passed it on to my sister, my friends, and one day, I will say it to my daughter. I will explain it's meaning, just like my grandma did, and pray that she will chose a guy that isn't prettier than her.